The Slayers Present: The Labyrinth
by Lina Inverse the Dramata
Summary: Well I wrote this quite some time ago and donated it to Darkness Rising, but since then I have now started correcting and stuff and it's basically the Slayers performing a Play fr. the Movie Labyrinth which featured Jennifpher Connely and David Bowie.
1. The Labyrinth Cast

Cast  Cast 

**Labyrinth **

****

Slayers 

King Of The Goblins aka Jareth 

Xellos Metalium 

Sarah Williams 

Lina Inverse 

Toby 

A very young Phibrizzo 

Sarah's Step-mom 

Martina 

Sarah's Father 

Zangulas 

Hoggle 

Zelgadis Greywords 

Worm 

Dilgear 

Ludo 

Gourry 

Sir Didymus 

Amelia Wil Tesla Seyrunne 

Various Goblins 

Mummy Man (Zolph), Nunsa, Rodimus 

Wise Man 

Rezo 

Merlin and Ambrocious 

Dilgear (again) 

Director

Jaime Whistler

Lina: All right! I'm the main character! 

Jaime: ^_^; Don't thank me just yet Lina.... 

Zel: Hey why is Xellos the King? 

Jaime: Because he fits Jareths' personality-- 

Zel: Who's this Hoggle anyway? 

Jaime: *Sweat drops* 

Xellos: *Peaking into original script* Oh.... interesting.... *Looks to Lina with a secret look* VERY Interesting.... *Smiles with open eyes* 

Lina: *Blinks uncomprehendingly* 

Gourry: Why am I Loud-o? 

Jaime: That's 'Ludo'. And you're him because you fit his personality. He goes with Sarah wherever she goes, and is big and dumb... but has a strange sweetness you can't help but love. ^_^ 

Amelia: Who's Sir Didymus? 

Jaime: Sore wa himitsu desu! 

All except for Xellos: *Sweat drop* 

Xellos: You have gained wisdom my child... 

Jaime: ^_^ 

Lina: Lemme see the script! *Nabs at it as Xellos holds it over her head* 

Xellos: NO. *Burns the script in his hand* 

Jaime and Lina: NO!!! T_T!!!

Xellos: There we go! Now no one can see it! Now lets get this play started! 

Amelia: MR. XELLOS!!! You just destroyed the WHOLE script!!! 

Zel: Oh boy.... 

Rezo: The script wasn't of use to me anyway.... *Shrugs*

Jaime: He destroyed the only copy that had the words in text and brail... 

Rezo: *Hits Xellos over the head with his staff* I needed that you idiot! 

Xellos: Hey you're pretty good at that… Could you do that again? 

Jaime: Disgusting!!! *Clocks him* 

Xellos: *smiles in happiness* I like the way you hit me.... 

Jaime: EWWW!!! HENTAI! 

Xellos: Your point? 

Jaime: *Ignores Xell and looks to the three quiet people in the corner who are sulking, I might add...* Something wrong? 

Dilgear: I'm not a worm! How will you get me to be that small?!? 

Jaime: *smiles evilly* 

Dilgear: *sweat drops* 

Nunsa: How come I can't be the king instead of one of the actual goblins? 

Phibrizo: At least you aren't the one playing the baby... 

Jaime: ^_^ Suffer... and your complaint mummy? 

Zolph: Quit calling me that... 

Rodimus: Lets finish this...I want the suffering to be over with... 

Jaime: Watch it. I like this movie...keep up the whining and I'll make sure to write out and put you all on the Barney series.... 

All: YOU WOULDN'T!!! 

Jaime: I'm an older sister...I've learned how to torture just as Luna did... 

Lina: *shudders at the name* 

Jaime: Lets get started! 

Xellos: Yes lets! 

Phibrizo: I'll get her for this someday.... 

Jaime: ^_^V 

(Authors Notes: Ok this story is WELL over a year old. In fact I was in ninth grade now I'm almost outta tenth. YAYY! Anyway so don't try to accuse me of stealing or anything. Labyrinth and Slayers belong to their creators. Any bad humour or perversion in this story was all my insecure minds fault.)


	2. Part One: A Refreshing Jog From The Park

Part One  Part One 

****

Take: 1 

Lina: *Is in a green park and comes running across a bridge and to the green meadow below. As she takes a step closer she trips over her long renaissance dress and screams* WAGH!!! 

*Snickers from off left are heard* 

Lina: SHUDDUP! So I've never worn a dress!!! *Sticks her tongue out at them* 

Jaime: LINA!!! SAY THE LINES!!! 

Lina: *Sighs and stands up trying to fix her appearance* Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the - uh... Mazoku city? 

Amelia: GOBLIN! 

Lina: But Xellos isn't a goblin! 

Jaime: I DON'T care! 

Lina: *mumbles* Fine... GOBLIN City, to take back the child that you have stolen, for my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great. You have no - 

Jaime: Your not supposed to know that line!!! 

Lina: Listen I'm the star of the show!!! 

Jaime: I don't care!!! Just get it down correctly damn it!!! 

Lina: Sheesh - My kingdom as great...damn, I can never remember that line... *pulls out a small book and opens it* Fear me love me do as I say and I will be your slave?!?!? O_o 

Jaime: ACK!!!! *Runs to her and grabs the book out of her hands and gives her the real book* Ok, continue! 

Lina: WHAT DOES IT MEAN 'LOVE' ?!?!?!? 

Xellos: *Appears behind her and wraps his arms around her waist and brings her close to him* Why - It means - *Is cut off as Lina punches him into the stratosphere* 

Jaime: _ Damn it.... Of all the plays they had to fuck up... 

Zel: Such language.... 

Jaime: whymewhymewhymewhymewhyme..... 

****

Take: 7,986 

Lina: *Lina runs across the bridge yet again and has lifted her dress to her knees, as she slows her pace she takes small steps forward as she speaks.* Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way her to the castle beyond the GOBLIN, *glares to her left* city to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great - *pulls out a small book and pretends to read it* You have no power over me. 

Jaime: HEY!!! YOU FORGOT 'GIVE ME THE CHILD'!!! 

Lina: SHUDDUP DAMMIT!!! 

Jaime: Sigh... 

****

Take: 7,998 

Lina: *Lina runs across the bridge yet again and has lifted her dress to her knees, as she slows her pace she takes small steps forward as she speaks. Obviously frustrated. * GIVE ME THE CHILD... Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way her to the castle beyond the GOBLIN *glares evilly to her left yet again* city to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours and my kingdom as great - *Pulls out a small book and pretends to read it. * You have no power over me. 

*Clock sounds off in the distance seven times* 

Lina: Oh no I don't believe it! It's seven o' clock! Come on Merlin! *A pissy Dilgear grumbles and runs with her back the way she came* 

*They reach the house-soaking wet* 

Lina: IT'S NOT FAIR!!! 

Martina: I know it isn't! Taste the wrath of the Monstrous Zomelgustar!!! 

Lina: *sweat drops and begins to march inside* 

Martina: EWW!!! Not the dog!!! 

Dilgear: HEY! 

Lina: Ok.... Go dog! 

Dilgear: *Growls and gives them a glare and trudges off in a huff as Lina marches inside.* 

Martina: Sarah you're an hour late! 

Lina: SO? 

Jaime: LINA! 

Lina: Sorry! 

Martina: And I ask you to baby-sit only if it won't interfere with your plans - hell even if it does! There's no way that a flat chested bad tempered girl like you could EVER get a date! 

Lina: FIRE - 

All except Lina: NO!!!! 

Lina: There better be a good excuse -! 

Jaime: This set was expensive!!! 

Lina: *Prepares fireball anyway* 

Jaime: And if you destroy it, it comes out of your food and paycheck! 

Lina: *stops and grumbles and starts trudging up the stairs. Enter Zangulas* 

Zangulas: *carrying a baby in red and white striped Pajamas, baby has suspiciously familiar purple-black hair* Oh, Li- Sarah, your an hour late - 

Lina: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! *Runs up stairs in hissy fit* 

Martina: She is such a spoiled – 

Jaime: MARTINA DO NOT PISS ME OFF!!! 

Martina: *blinks and continues her lines correctly* She treats me like a wicked stepmother no matter what I say - 

Zangulas: Maybe you deserved it... 

Martina: Maybe you should get your sorry ass up there and talk to her! 

Zangulas: .... *Goes up to third floor and to Sarah's door* 


	3. Part Two: A Loving Family

Part Two  Part Two 

****

Take: 1 

In Sarah's room.

Lina: Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, *Picks up a lipstick and has a fake gold crown on her head. She is now wearing jeans, a large white poet shirt with full sleeves, and a white embroidered vest with brown loafers* I have – 

Zangulas: *Voice heard through other side of door* Sarah can I talk to you? 

Lina: *Angrily throws crown and lipstick onto the vanity and stops looking in the mirror. * There's nothing to talk about! You better go or your gonna be late. 

Zangulas: But if I don't talk to you I'll hear Martina whining – 

Martina: *From far off, * I heard that! 

Zangulas: *looking worried* Uh - we've fed Toby and we'll put him into bed, we'll be back around midnight... *Leaves. * 

Lina: *looking at the door in disgust* You really wanted to talk to me didn't you? Practically broke down the door! *Throws herself onto the bed in a huff and looks at shelves where stuffed animals usually are. * 

*Five minutes pass* 

Jaime: *Whispering* Your line was due five minutes ago oh wonder dummy... 

Lina: It was?!? Uh um - hmm... 

Jaime: *Slaps hand against forehead* LANCELOT! 

Lina: Oh yah !!! Lancelot! Someone's been in my room again!!! I hate that! *Jumps off bed and rushes out the door. * I hate you! *Runs into parents room and switches on the light* I hate YOU!!! *Rushes to the teddy bear thrown carelessly on the floor* 

Phibrizo: *Standing in the crib to her right looks at her with a somewhat bored expression. * I was never crazy for you myself either... 

Lina: *Sticks out her tongue, then blinks* Phib - *looks at him incredulously. * WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!? *Unsuccessfully tries to hold back her snickers. * 

Phibrizo: *Angrily. * I'll get you for this Jaime... 

Lina: **_SHE_** of all people, did that to **__**YOU ?!? *Laughs. * To a DARK LORD no less!!! *Breaks into full scale laughter. * 

Phibrizo: T_T It wasn't my fault!!! It was her and her damn spell! Damn Authors Powers!!!

Lina: *Tries to stop her laughing hysterics. * Oh boy - -THAT was grand.... 

Phibrizo: Could you please continue this fu**ed up play so I may get back to my normal size and plot Jaime's demise? 

Lina: Ok - Where was I? 

Phibrizo: 'I hate you.' 

Lina: I know you do but that's not the point. 

Phibrizo: _ I meant you were at that part! 

Lina: Ahh.... Oh yah! *Holds her teddy bear close to her chest* Somebody save me! Someone take me away from this awful place! 

Phibrizo: *unenthusiastically* Wagh. Wagh. 

Jaime: *smiles threateningly* Phibrizo if you ever want your body back - 

Phibrizo: Fine. *Breaks into full scale wailing...Well pulls out a tape player and pushes 'play'. * 

Lina: What? Do you want to hear story? Fine! *Sits down on the double bed* Once upon a time there was a beautiful...um...VERY beautiful young girl whose step mother always made her stay home with the baby! *Stands up and walks up to the mirror and looks into it* But what no one knew was that the king of the goblins had fallen in love with the young girl - *Stops and makes a choking sound as she realizes what she just said. * _WHAT_?!? OH NO HE DOES NOT!!! 

Jaime: *Sighs and walks on stage, grabs Lina by the arm and pulls her off for a few minutes. * 

****

Take: Um...lost count for part 2... 

Lina: *continuing* So one night, when the child had been particularly cruel to her, she called on the goblins for help. 

Nunsa, Rodimus, and Zolph: *Off in a corner somewhere else. * Listen! 

Lina: Say your right words the goblin said. And we'll take the baby back to the Goblin city, and you will be free. But the girl knew that the king of the goblins would keep the baby in his castle forever and ever and turn it into a goblin...not a bad deal. *Coughs. * So one night when she was tired from a day of housework, and she was hurt by the words of her stepmother- the stuck up sonofa - she could no longer bear it - 

Phibrizo: *Rewinds tape and hits play and more baby screams sound. * 

Lina: Oh all right! All right! *Picks up Phibrizo reluctantly. * Knock it off! Come on stop it! Stop it! I'll say the words! *Pretends to reconsider it as she none too gently 'rocks' Phibrizo. * 

Phibrizo: *Unsteadily tries to talk, being shaken about doesn't help…* Haven't you ever heard of not shaking a baby?

Lina: *Ignores him. * No I mustn't! I mustn't say! Tempting as it may be - I wish...I wish... 

Phibrizo: T_T I thought you weren't going to say it! I don't wanna end up with that fruitcake…

Nunsa, Rodimus, and Zolph: *Are gathered around playing cards, pretending to listen intently. *

Lina: *Lifts Phibrizo over her head as if a sacrificial object.* Goblin king, goblin king where ever you may be, take this child of mine far away from me!!! *Lightning strikes and nothing happens. * Damn. *Puts Phibrizo back into the crib and begins to walk out* I wish the goblins would come and take you away, right now! *Turns off light and the tape player suddenly goes off and she is left in silence* Toby? Huh... Must have run out of tape. *Begins to walk back to her room* 

Jaime: Lina get your behind back in there! 

Lina: Grr..... *Walks back into room* Toby? *Moves a hand to the light switch and finds the power dead* Stupid piece of &%$#!!! Toby you still here? *Silence fills the room as an answer and she begins to walk to crib and pulls back the sheet to find crib empty* Well shit. That's that! *Begins to walk back to door but door slams shut and is locked* HEY! *Pulls at door handle* This isn't fair! 

*A sudden gush of wind and glitter and the French doors fling open and a black owl flies in and at her face. She ducks down and it flies out of her way and in a flash of lightning a man is standing in the room now. Lina slowly looks up and turns to the French doors. Her mouth drops at what she sees* 

Lina: Xellos?!? *Looks at him from head to foot and back again* 

Xellos: *Smiles* Why Lina, I'm flattered. 

Lina: WHAT?!? 

Xellos: You've never looked at me like this before. *Smiles evilly* 

Lina: *blushes furiously* Lightning! *Crispifies Xellos. * 

Jaime: _ 


	4. Part Three: A Meeting to Remember

Part Three  Part Three 

****

Take: 1 

Lina: You're him aren't you? You're the Goblin king? *Xellos smiles. * 

Xellos: Jareth. *Bows. * 

Lina: I want my brother back please if it's just the same. 

Xellos: *Grins evilly* Are you sure that's what you want? 

Lina: Actually you could keep the little creep for all I could care. But I don't want Jaime to kill me - 

Xellos: *Continuing actual script. * What's said is said. 

Lina: But I didn't mean it! Ok... maybe I did but I still need to get him back! 

Xellos: Go back to your room...Play with your toys and your costumes...Forget about the baby... 

Lina: I can't... 

Xellos: I've brought you a gift - *pulls out iridescent crystal and begins to intricately move them from hand to hand. * 

Lina: So? 

Xellos: It's a crystal... 

Lina: That's it? 

Xellos: Nothing more - But if you turn it this way, it will show you your dreams. 

Lina: *Her eyes go wide with greed. * 

Xellos: But this is not a gift for an ordinary girl, who takes care of a screaming baby... 

Lina: *Frowns indecisively. * 

Xellos: *Moves it before her tauntingly* Do you want it? 

Lina: Hell yah! Give it here! *Dives for the crystal in his hand but it disappears as she goes for it. Instead she ends crashing into him and both fall down. * 

Lina and Xellos: AGGH!!!! *Lina lands on top of Xellos and he drops his staff. Both look at each other* 

Xellos: My, my...what a compromising position... 

Lina: *Blushes furiously and rolls off of him and sticks her tongue out at him* 

Xellos: Aww - *Stands up. OH - he is wearing a nice outfit that would make any woman pass out in sheer joy. Black tights, form fitting leather vest and a white shirt, (visit a labyrinth site if you don't understand) ^_^ Nice... ahem. anyway...* 

Lina: Umm...I want my brother back - He must be so scared! 

Xellos: *Pulls out a crystal and in mid air it turns into a slug* Sarah - 

Lina: *Starts to freak out* 

Xellos: Don't defy me! *Throws it at her* 

Lina: *Screams out and begins running from it. * NOOOOO!!!!!!! *The slug magically begins chasing her as she runs all around the room before attacking Xellos and wrapping her arms around his waist screaming. * KEEP IT AWAY FROM ME!!! 

Xellos: *Makes the slug disappear and smiles, very happy with the turn of events. * 

Lina: *Looks up nervously to see if the slug is still there and then realizes what she's doing and jumps back. * 

Xellos: He's there. In my castle! *Points to the window. Lina walks to it and finds she is now not in her room but on top of a hill at the beginning of the labyrinth. * Turn back Sarah, turn back while you still can. 

Lina: I can't - the slug may still be there.... *Shudder. * 

Xellos: Very well. You have thirteen hours in which to solve my labyrinth before your baby brother becomes one of us forever... *begins to disappear* 

Lina: *turns to life-size maze before her* Doesn't look those hard...Well common feet.


	5. Part Four: Unmentioned Cast Members Int...

Part Four 

Part Four 

  


**Take: One **

*Lina begins walking down the hill as the sun starts to rise. As she walks down she sees a man standing by the water fountain mumbling darkly. He is wearing a white sorcerer outfit. * 

Lina: Uh - Excuse me? 

Zelgadis: *Whirls around. * Oh Excuse me... 

Lina: No, Excuse me, I have to get to the castle beyond the goblin city can you help me -? *Her words die off as Zelgadis grabs a canister and walks to the wall with dead shrubs and squirts the potent liquid onto a fairy. The fairy makes a pitiful squeak and dies off. * 

Zelgadis: Fifty-seven! 

Lina: Why'd you do that?! 

Zelgadis: I'm under orders from the evil one. 

Lina: ..... *Sweat drops. * 

Zelgadis: Fifty-eight! .... Fifty-nine! 

Lina: Do you know the way into the Labyrinth? 

Zelgadis: Maybe.... 

Lina: *Annoyed,* Well where is it? 

Zelgadis: *Ignores her. * Why you little.... Sixty! *He smirks as another fairy dies. *

Lina: I said, 'Where is it'? 

Zelgadis: Where is what? 

Lina: The door! *Glares at him obviously frustrated. * 

Zelgadis: What door? *Smirks evilly at her frustration. * 

Lina: It's hopeless asking you anything! 

Zelgadis: Not if you ask the right question... 

Lina: *Looking irate,* Where the hell is the entrance before I blow your hide into subspace?! 

Zelgadis: *Raises an eyebrow. * It's over there. *Points behind her to large wooden doors that wasn't there a few seconds ago. * 

Lina: I HATE DUNGEONS!!!! 

Zelgadis: Well you never should have wished the brat away and called on the fruitcake. 

Lina: A mistake I can remedy.... *Prepares a dragon slave.* 

Jaime: Lina!!! NO MAGIC!!! 

Lina: *Indignantly. * WHAT?!? 

Jaime: You heard me! 

Lina: Dammit. If your so in love with this play, why don't you be Sarah ?! 

Jaime: Because! One, Xellos is the Goblin King. Two, I would be Sarah but that would torture Xellos-

Zelgadis: And the problem with that is?

Jaime: *Ignores his interruption,* -and three, I'd much rather have you be Sarah, and he Jareth! *Evilly chuckles.* 

Lina: Shimata... (Translation- Damn it.) *Begins walking to the door. * 

Zelgadis: You really going in there are you? 

Lina: Yes I'm afraid I have to. *Walks to the doors and pushes them open and walks in to find only two directions that she can go: Left or right. The corridors stretch for what seem like forever and Lina looks dismayed as she sees this. * Flying hell... 

Zelgadis: Would you go left or right? 

Lina: I don't know... where would you go? 

Zelgadis: Straight up and over. 

Lina: Nani? 

Zelgadis: *Sighs. * A Levitation Spell... And here you are calling yourself a sorcery genius.

Lina: *Grins* Now there's something to cut down the time... hehehe... 

Zelgadis: You owe me. 

Lina: LEVITATION! *Begins flying over it. She fly's for about 20 yards when she runs into an invisible wall headfirst. * OUCH!!! 

Xellos: *Voice is heard but his body is not seen. * Ah ah ah.... For shame 'Sarah'... You really shouldn't cheat. For that you shall pay a price. 

Lina: Anything but Telletubbies, Banana's in Pajamas, Blues Clues, Lamb chop, Slugs, or Barney. 

Xellos: ... *Complaining, * Sure get rid of all the torture devices....*Cheers up,* But you didn't say anything about not using your body to carry out strange and ungodly, yet wholly satisfying, fantasies!!!

Lina: *Face faults, * I'm not paying any price! So kiss my a$$! *Sticks out her tongue and flies down landing in front of two separate doors, in front of them are two guards. One is Naga the other is and Vrumagan. * 

Lina: NAGA !? VRUMAGAN ?! Your not mentioned on the cast list!!! 

Naga: Not mentioned?! She DIDN'T?! Why I oughta - Well I suppose she forgot... 

Vrumagan: Maybe she didn't want to scare any of the readers away.... *Shudders and points a thumb at Naga. * This woman's laugh could wake the dead...four dimensions over, in an entirely different galaxy... 

Naga: I'll have you know I have a wonderful laugh! And I shall complain to Jaime! How dare she not mention me! Naga! Naga the Serpent! The white serpent! OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!! *Laughs the evil laugh of doom as Vrumagan cringes and tries to block his ears. Lina crumples to the ground, her hands pressing against her ears in a futile attempt to stop the sound. * AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! 

Lina: Someone - S…stop her!!! Zelgadis!!!! HELP!!!! 

*Off in another part of the Labyrinth* 

Zelgadis: That's not my characters name - *Sighs* oh boy.... *Slowly begins walking his way to the entrance. * 

Jaime: *Rushes in. * ZEL! Emergency!!! Naga's laughing and she won't shut up! I'd go in there but I am not sure if I am immune to her laughing and I don't wanna risk it! I'd rather risk your sanity. *Smile* And Xellos isn't THAT stupid to come in and stop her! Amelia doesn't wanna go in either! 

Zelgadis: *Horrified, * No! Not her! 

Jaime: You've got to!!! 

Zelgadis: If the fruitcake won't do it, what makes you think someone who HASN'T lost all their common sense and sanity, would do it?

Jaime: If you don't I'll stick you in a room playing BOP music! (BOP music, tasteless stuff the 'In' crowd listens to.)

Zelgadis: O_O You - you wouldn't.... 

Jaime: Wanna bet? 

Zelgadis: LEVITATION! *Flies to Lina and the doors and sighs. * That which graces us with your peace, come forth.... SILENCE! *Naga's voice goes away but she continues to laugh, as if someone hit the 'mute' button. * 

Lina: ZEL?! *Looks up. * 

Zelgadis: Yes... 

Lina: *Jumps up and glomps him in gratitude.* Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthaankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou...... 

Zelgadis: *blushes furiously* Yah ok... continue the play... 

Lina: Oh yah.... *Turns to Vrumagan... Who is unconscious. * So much for this scene.... 

Zelgadis: I'll say... *Both move past Vrumagan's body and open the right door. * 

Lina: This is a piece of cake... 

Zelgadis: Bullshit. 

Lina: Tell me about it... AGGHHHHHH!!!! 

*Both fall down a trap door and begin to feel something brushing against them slowing down their fall until they are stopped completely. They find they are being held by hands that are stuck out from the enclosed circle of a wall. Lina is being held right below Zelgadis. * 

Lina: HENTAI!!! ICHI! (Hentai-Pervert, Ichi- Lech and/or pervert) 

Zelgadis: *Sweat drops. * Of all the places.... 

Lina: LET GO OF ME!!! 

*As if they understand both are suddenly dropped.* 

Both: AGHHHH!!!!! 


	6. Part Five: A Dancing, Singing, Tightly C...

Part Five 

Part Five 

  


*Xellos is lounging in a large chair looking at a clock that reads two twenty. He looks around at the small goofy Goblins in the room, some are chasing chickens, others are drinking ale. Phibrizo is sitting in the middle of this in a lowered pit. And boy does he not look happy. * 

Phibrizo: *Screams out to the people who are reading this…* GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!! 

Xellos: Now now... You can't get out of this that easily.... If I have to wear tights and a poet shirt you have to be the kid. 

Phibrizo: *Makes a certain hand gesture in Xellos' general direction. * 

Xellos: Tsk tsk. Hmm we need a song to dance to.... 

Phibrizo: *Glares at him. * Leave me out of your *** @$$, sado-masochistic plans you twisted fruit. 

Xellos: I'm hurt... *Smiles. * Now on with the song. Which all in this room will perform in! 

Zolph, Nunsa, Rodimus, and Phibrizo: NOOOO!!!! 

*Music begins playing and Xellos begins singing... (Scary ne?)* 

Xellos: *To Rodimus, * You remind me of the babe... 

Rodimus: ..... 

Jaime: Say it or your meatloaf!!! 

Rodimus: Damn! What babe? 

Xellos: The babe with the power.... 

Nunsa: What power? 

Xellos: The power of voodoo, 

Zolph: Who do? 

Xellos: You do. 

Rodimus: Do what? 

Xellos: Remind me of the babe - I saw my baby, crying hard as babes could cry - what could I do? 

Rodimus: *Mutters, * Leave him to suffer... 

Xellos: *Pointedly ignores him. * My babies' love had gone, and left my baby blue - Nobody knew - What kind of magic spell to use? 

Zolph: Gags or ropes - 

Phibrizo: *Singing to the tune, * May I kill these dopes? 

Nunsa: Spanking him soundly - 

Xellos: Than baby said... *points to Phibby.* 

Phibrizo: Screw you... 

Zolph, Rodimus, and Nunsa: Dance magic - 

Xellos: Dance magic dance, 

Zolph, Rodimus, and Nunsa: *echoing* Dance magic - 

Xellos: Dance magic dance, 

Trio: Put that babies spell on me... jump magic - 

Xellos: Jump magic jump - 

Trio: Jump magic - 

Xellos: Jump magic jump,

Trio: Put that magic jump on me... Slap that baby make him free! *Music plays and all are forced to dance about, some more ungracefully then others. Some looking like drunken ballerina's. * 

Xellos: I saw my baby, trying hard as babes could try, what could I do? My babies' fun had gone, and left my baby blue. Nobody knew, what kind of magic spell to use.... 

Zolph: Slime and snails - 

Phibrizo: *glaring evilly with a smile of malice at trio who are in goblin get ups. * Or goblin entrails - - 

Trio: O_O 

Xellos: Thunder or lightning - than baby said.... 

Phibrizo: Kill me please !

Zolph, Rodimus, and Nunsa: Dance magic - 

Xellos: Dance magic dance... 

Zolph, Rodimus, and Nunsa: *echoing* Dance magic - 

Xellos: Dance magic dance... 

Trio: Put that babies spell on me... jump magic - 

Xellos: Jump magic jump - 

Trio: Jump magic - 

Xellos: Jump magic jump 

Trio: Put that magic jump on me... Slap that baby make him free! 

Zolph, Rodimus, and Nunsa: Dance magic -

Xellos: Dance magic dance - 

Phibrizo: FOR THE LOVE OF L-SAMA END THE ****ING SONG ALREADY!!!! 


	7. Part Six: Obliette

Part Six.html anyuser Normal NKSD 4 78 2001-11-08T05:21:00Z 2001-11-08T05:22:00Z 6 1468 8373 north kitsap s.d. 69 16 10282 9.3821 0 0 

Obliette

Part 6

Take 1,432

*We see Lina and Zelgadis falling down the shaft… * 

*Both scream as the hands let go of them dropping them through the manhole. Lina drops through and lands on her knees and hands, Zelgadis follows closely and lands on top of her. * 

**Lina**: OUCH!!! *Is flattened to the ground by the force of the fall. * Get offa me!!! 

**Zelgadis**: Gomen.... *Rolls off of her and sits down.* (Gomen - sorry) 

**Lina**: Ouchouchouch.... where are we? 

**Zel**: I believe we would call this an, 'Oubliette'. It's derived from a French word meaning 'to forget'. We have been dropped in here to be forgotten.

**Lina**: WHAT?! THEY WILL NOT JUST LEAVE US HERE!!! THERE'S NOT EVEN FOOD!!! GET US OUTTA HERE! 

**Zelgadis**: Fine... *Goes to a board and moves it to the wall so it is parallel to the wall and puts a key in and turns it and the board turns into a door which he opens and walks through. * 

**Lina**: *Stares dumbfounded. * 

**Zelgadis**: This way. *Lina follows. * 

*They go through a cave like tunnel and as they turn a corner a large stoned carved faces start shouting. * 

**Face1**: Beware! 

**Face2**: Go back! 

**Lina**: Get a life – 

**Zelgadis**: Don't pay any attention to them, their just false alarms; you get a lot of them in the Labyrinth especially when you're on the right path –

**Face1**: Oh no your not. 

**Zelgadis**: Oh shut up ... 

**Face2**: Sorry just doing our job - 

**Zelgadis**: Well don't do it to us! 

**Face1**: Don't need to get all grouchy on us... 

*Lina and Zelgadis turn to the sound of something going down the corridor. They see a small crystal ball roll down the corridor and past them turning through a door way. * 

**Both**: Uh-oh... 

*They see the crystal ball roll over to a little begger man covered in a hood and many ragged robes. The crystal bounces and goes straight into the cup the beggar man holds. * 

**Beggar**: Well well... What do we have here? 

**Zelgadis**: Nothing - 

**Beggar**: Nothing? *A little sterner, * Nothing?! *Stands up and removes the disguise and reveals himself to be - * 

**Both**: XELLOS?! 

**Xellos**: *Whining, * Hey you interrupted me - 

**Both**: *Sweat drop. * 

**Xellos**: Ahem… Nothing tra la la? 

**Zelgadis**: *Coldly* Xellos, what a horrible surprise. 

**Xellos**: That's 'Your highness' to you. *Turns to Lina and looks at her with a grin. * But for you - 

**Zelgadis**: Leave her alone fruitcake. 

**Xellos**: *Half opens his slitted eyes to Zelgadis. * 

**Lina**: *Has backed up from the silent fight with wide eyes. * 

**Xellos**: And why should I? 

**Zelgadis**: .... 

**Xellos**: I thought so - Hello Hedgewort - 

**Lina**: Hogwort - 

**Zelgadis**: HOGGLE!!! 

**Xellos**: _Hoggle_, can it be you're helping this girl? 

**Zelgadis**: Helping? In what sense? 

**Xellos**: In the sense that your leading her straight to the castle. 

**Zelgadis**: Yah so? 

**Xellos**: I don't want her to win - 

**Zelgadis**: Umm - *listlessly* I was tricking her, I told her I would take her to the castle but in fact I'm taking her to the beginning. 

**Xellos**: If you had been helping her I would of been forced to lock you in a room with Amelia and a romantic movie- *Grins evilly and then turns to Lina. * 

**Lina**: ... 

*Xellos Walks up to her and Lina finds her back against a stonewall. He then places an arm on the wall leaning against it and stands over her as a blush spreads over her cheeks lightly.*

**Xellos**: And you Sarah, how are you enjoying my Labyrinth? 

**Lina**: I'd prefer almost anything else to this boring, psychotic - 

**Xellos**: *Raises an eyebrow, * Oh? I believe I have just been insulted - 

**Lina**: *Sarcastically, * Me insult you? _Never_ - 

**Xellos**: *A clock appears and he forwards it. * 

**Lina**: *Clocks him. * HEY!!! 

**Xellos**: ^_^ Thank you. 

**Lina**: *Backs into the wall further...if that were possible. * 

**Xellos**: So the Labyrinth is a piece of cake is it? Well lets see how you deal with this little slice - *Pulls out a crystal and throws it down the long dark tunnel. * 

**Lina**: Zelgadis what is he doing? *Doesn't hear Zelgadis. * Zel?  *Hears something that sounds like clashing metal down the corridor the crystal went. Lina turns to find Zelgadis is gone. In fact he is running in the opposite direction. She turns to see why. * HOLY $HIT!!!! 

*Xellos smiles and disappears as Lina runs top notch speed away from the wall of steel knives and shard of glass driving down the corridor.* 

**Lina**: It - *Gasp!* figures - *Pant!* Zelgadis would be the *Wheeze!* smart one and run - *She catches up with Zelgadis and both keep running until they reach a dead end which is bared off. The tunnel does continue but due to the bars they are stuck. * 

**Zelgadis**: Shit!!!!  *Turns to the wall at his right and noticing it's different then the rest of the wall, starts beating on it. Lina joins and by the time the cleaners is five feet away the wall falls in and both land in the hide away safely. * 

**Lina**: Thank you God – 

**Zelgadis**: And what about me? 

*Lina shrugs as Zelgadis stands and begins climbing the rickety ladder upwards* 

**Lina**: Zelgadis where the hell are you going? 

**Zelgadis**: Up. 

**Lina**: *stands up and follows him up* So now where are you taking me? 

**Zelgadis**: To a place where I can leave you to finish this dumb play – 

*He presses up on the ceiling where the ladder stops, it moves and he moves it up and pushes it to the left. A large clang sounds as the lid hits the ground. He gets up and we find they are both in a large planting pot. * 

**Lina**: Where are we? 

**Zelgadis**: That's it! I quit! *Jumps out of it. They are in the hedge part of the maze. Off to their left is a chair made of large stone books. Lina jumps out too. * 

**Lina**: Wait-a-minute!!! HOGGLE! 

**Zelgadis**: I never promised anything! I said I'd take you as far as I can - 

**Lina**: Well it's not far enough! *Steps in front of his path. * 

**Zelgadis**: It is for me! 

*Lina grabs at his belt and manages to grab a bag off of it. * 

**Lina**: Take me farther! 

**Zelgadis**: GIMME THAT! 

*He dives for it as Lina runs around the encircled area while he chases her. Rezo enters and both freeze. He is wearing his red outfit with his usual staff. Unfortunately both froze as Zelgadis had been diving at Lina... the result being he landed on top of her in a very _cough compromising position. * _

**Lina**: *Blushes furiously. * 

**Zelgadis**: O_O *Blushes also. * 

**Rezo**: Now you two, if your so eager to do **_that_** then you should find a nice secluded place away from our readers innocent eyes... (Author: Innocent? *COUGH COUGH*)

**Zelgadis** & **Lina**: SHUDDUP! 

**Rezo**: Now now.... 

**Zelgadis**: *Jumps off of Lina who is still blushing crimson. * 

**Rezo**: I never knew stone could blush.... 

**Lina**: ... I never knew you could see.... 

*Rezo goes over to the large chair and sits down in it. * 

**Rezo**: *Mutters, * The least she could do is put cushions in the damn chair.... 

**Lina**: Excuse me, but can you help me? 

**Rezo**: *Raises an eyebrow and smirks, * I'm sorry but I haven't seen your mommy or daddy.... 

**Lina**: *Eye twitches, * What? 

**Rezo**: *not answering* What kind of help? 

**Lina**: .... 

**Zelgadis**: She wants to get to the castle. 

**Rezo**: Oh...well young lady, sometimes the way forward, can also be the way back. 

**Lina**: What? 

**Rezo**: *Shrugs. * Don't ask me. Since Xellos destroyed the only brail copy of the script, Jaime had to make me memorize the lines by voice. And I'm only repeating what she told me. 

**Lina** and **Zelgadis**: *Sweat drop. * 

**Rezo**: It may seem like your not getting anywhere when in fact you are. 

**Lina**: *sourly* Well I'm certainly not getting any where at the moment... 

**Rezo**: Join the club. 

**Lina**: What else can you tell me? 

**Rezo**: I think I'm supposed to pretend to fall asleep. *Gets comfy, if that is even possible, and nods off. * 

**Zelgadis**: ... 

**Lina**: Dammit! *Grabs Zelgadis by the forearm and drags him off down one of the openings in the hedges* 

**Zelgadis**: Patience is not one of your virtues is it? 

**Lina**: Listen my friend - 

**Zelgadis**: Friend? 

**Lina**: You're the closest person in this place I have to a friend - 

**Zelgadis**: *Stares at her in real surprise.* 

**Lina**: *Blushes lightly. * What? 

*Both stop walking and she releases his arm. All of a sudden they hear a very loud scream* 

**Gourry**: TASKUTAI!!!! SOMEONE HELP!!!! 

*Zelgadis and Lina begin running through the maze and come to a clear area that is surrounded by hedges… * 

**Zelgadis** and **Lina**: O_O 

*We see Gourry tied in a pink frilly chair with a large vanity with make up and other vanity items on it. A very large mirror is also there. * 

**Gourry**: Someone stop her!!! 

*There is a closet filled with frilly dresses off to the right, Gourry is wearing a pink dress that is decorated with bows which is very fluffy. His hair is up with a large bow and flowers. He is wearing make-up and a tall blond woman wearing a blue beauticians outfit is holding lipstick. * 

**Zellas**: Oh hi Lina – Chan! I was just finishing the last touches! 

**Lina**: *Mouth gapes open, * BEAST MASTER?!? 

**Zellas**: *Grins. * Yep! 

**Lina**: *Passes out. * 

**Zelgadis**: O_O *Catches her. * 

**Zellas**: *Bends over and starts applying lipstick.* Hold still Gourry - oh now I have to start all over again - 

**Zelgadis**: You weren't mentioned on the cast list either!!! 

**Zellas**: *Pouts. * Humph. *Shrugs. * Jaime said she was throwing in last minute people and it was too late to fix up the cast list since she already donated that part of the story to the 'Darkness Rising' site. 

**Zelgadis**: *Sweat drops. * 

**Gourry**: HELP!!! 

**Zelgadis**: *Shakes Lina trying to wake her up. * Wake up Li - Sarah... 

**Lina**: *Blinks. * Zelgadis...? 

**Zelgadis**: *Stands her up and she looks at Zellas. * 

**Zellas**: *Smiles, * Hello dear! 

**Lina**: Wh - *Turns to Zelgadis and sounds incredulous, * Why is Jaime inviting high level Mazoku to join the play? 

**Zelgadis**: Maybe she's insane - 

**Lina**: Or maybe she's just suicidal... 

**Zellas**: I'm hurt. I actually wanted to join the fun. *Smiles. * And I promised I wouldn't do anything too bad.... 

**Gourry**: You lied! 

**Zellas**: No I didn't - 

**Lina**: Anyway we need to get Gourry it is part of the script... 

**Zellas**: *Shrugs.* I'm through with him- *The ropes disappear and he jumps up running behind Lina.* 

**Lina**: ... 

**Zelgadis**: Lets go.... *Drags them off down a path. * 

**Zellas**: Ta ta!


	8. Part 7: Down the Shaft of Hands

Part Seven.html anyuser Normal NKSD 4 32 2001-11-08T05:23:00Z 2001-11-08T05:24:00Z 5 892 5087 north kitsap s.d. 42 10 6247 9.3821 0 0 

Down the Shaft of Hands

Part Seven 

*Zel, Lina, and Gourry, (who is still in drag due to the fact Zellas still has his normal clothes,) reach two doors. On the doors there are two faces. One has the door knocker going through his ears the other has a large metal ring in his mouth. * 

**Lina: *Looks over at them. * What are they? **

**Deaf Face: What? **

**One with ring in his mouth: air hah oor ockers! **

**Lina: Nani? **

**Zel: *Figures out the problem and walks over to the one with the ring in his mouth and pulls it out. * **

**Face2: Thank you! I'm glad to know at least SOMEONE isn't an idiot.... **

**Lina: *Glares at him. * **

**Zel: Which door leads to the castle? **

**Face2: Dunno were just the knockers. **

**Zel: I see. Well let us in. **

**Face2: Can't do that. **

**Lina: WHY NOT?! **

**Face2: You have to knock. **

**Zel: Open up. *Readies the ring at the faces mouth. * **

**Face2: Uh-uh. *Closes his mouth in an obvious refusal. ***

**Deaf ****Face: Doesn't want the ring back in his mouth does he? Can't say I blame him. **

**Zel: Open it up and when we get in I'll remove it. **

**Face2: Deal. *Opens his mouth and Zel places the ring in it and knocks. The door swings open and as they enter Zel removes the ring dropping it in front of the door and jumps aside as the door slams shut. * **

**Zel: Lets go. **

*They continue their walk through the dense glittery forest* 

**Lina: I have this weird feeling - *walks ahead of the two men who trail some distance behind her. * **

**Gourry: Hmm you know I think something's going to happen. **

**Zel: Now why would you say tha - AAAGGHHH!! *Both fall down as a shaft opens up in the ground and closes back up over their heads. Lina hears the screams and turns in time to see nothing. * **

**Lina: *Turns. * Z - Hoggle? Ludo? Where are you? *Looks around and all of a sudden a firey ( a gangly creature with red-orange fur) jumps at her. * **

**Firey: Hey there little lady! **

**Lina: *Jumps in surprise. * AGH! **

**Firey #2: And BOY is she LITTLE! **

**Lina: GRRR.... FIREBALL!!! **

*A loud explosion echoes throughout the forest. * 

_Back at the castle: _

**Xellos: Hmmm... It seems the firey's opened their big mouths... **

**Rodimus: *Mutters to Zolf, * Why can't she do that to 'HIM'? **

**Xellos: Cause Lina-chan loves me too much! *Smiles as the others face fault. * **

**Phibrizo: *Mutters. * We'll sooner see Lina do a strip dance for the Slayers males before she falls in love with that fruitcake... **

**Noonsa, ****Rodimus, and ****Zolf: *Shudder at that thought. * **

**Xellos: *Grins. * **

**Zolf: Sicko.... **

**Xellos: *Disappears and we find Zelgadis trying to get up and over a ledge. * **

**Gourry: This place stinks!!! What is this place called again Zelgadis? **

**Zelgadis: The bog of stench I believe... *Grabs a hold of a ledge and goes over the ledge leaving Gourry alone for a moment. * **

**Xellos: *Appears next to Gourry. * Hi Gourry. **

**Gourry: Oh hey Xellos where ya been? **

**Xellos: Oh, here and there. *Shrugs. * Hey can you give this to Lina? *Hands Gourry a peach. * It's for her so DON'T eat it Gourry. **

**Gourry: Don't let her eat it, got it! **

**Xellos: . Gourry I'll repeat this SLOWLY... Give the peach to _Lina. You cannot eat it. _**

**Gourry: Oh... Ok. **

*Xellos disappears as Zel peaks over the edge and gives a hand to Gourry to help him up. * 

**Zelgadis: Whom were you talking to Gourry? **

**Gourry: *Thinks really hard. * I forgot... **

**Zelgadis: *Sweat drops. * **

*Meanwhile back in the foresty… errr... well used to be foresty area, but now a nice part of it is burned, we find Lina walking to a large brick wall and levitates up landing on the top of it. * 

**Lina: This is a piece of cake... **

*Takes a step forward and the ground opens up beneath her sending her swirling down a shaft. She screams as it ends and she nearly falls headfirst into the bog, barely saved by Gourry. * 

**Gourry: Hi Lina! **

**Lina: My name is supposed to be 'SARAH' baka! **

**Gourry: Sarah Baka? Why'd you want a name like that? **

**Lina: Stand me up darn it!!! **

*Gourry stands her up and she looks down and puts a hand to her mouth. * 

**Lina: This place reeks!!! Its smells like s - **

**Zelgadis: Lets get out of here. **

*The trio climb there way over to steady land, which is surrounded by the bog of stench, and start to walk towards the rickety bridge. * 

**Amelia: Halt! All those who wish to cross must get past me! *Jumps out from the large nearby tree and lands on her face. * OUCH!!!! **

**Lina, Gourry, and Zelgadis: O_o **

**Amelia: THAT HURT!!! *cries for a split second than stands up. She wearing a blue and gold outfit and is carrying a staff* **

**Lina: Interesting costume. **

**Zelgadis: *nudges Lina* **

**Lina: Nani? **

**Zelgadis: Listen Jaime wants us to do this correctly. So say your lines, the sooner and faster we get through this the better... **

**Lina: Oh yah.... Please we have to get across. **

**Amelia: Without MY permission no one may cross! **

**Gourry: But we only have a little time left - OUCH! *cries out as Lina jabs in the head with her elbow* **

**Lina: That was MY line baka!!! **

**Zelgadis: *sighs* Amelia may we have your permission? **

**Amelia: SURE! *Smiles happily with two hearts in her eyes.* **

* Zelgadis flies over the bridge seeing as it is too weak to hold his weight and Amelia follows. Lina and Gourry stop fighting and when she notices where Zelgadis is standing flies over. * 

**Lina: Come on Gourry. *Gourry stands up and walks over to the bridge and looks at it. * **

**Amelia: Lina-san, are you sure that you should let him cross? **

**Lina: *Shrugs. * **

**Gourry: *Steps on it and it wavers unsteadily. * Lina I don't think its gonna hold my weiGHHHTTT!!!!! *Screams as the board breaks in the middle and he jumps up grabbing an overhanging tree branch.* SAVE ME!!! SOMEONE HELP ME I'M FALLING!!!! *Branch bends down slightly under his weight. * **

**Lina: O_O Ok so maybe it wasn't as strong as I thought it was... **

**Amelia: In the name of Justice I shall rescue Gourry-san!!! *Flies above him and puts her arms under his and tries to lift him up* HEAVY - **

**Zelgadis: *Sighs and encases them both in a shield bringing them to normal **

ground. * 

**Amelia and ****Gourry: Phew!!! **

**Lina: Lets get going! *Turns around and starts walking off. As the others watch they run after her trying to catch up* **


	9. Part 8: To Plan a Ball

Part Eight 

* * *

*Xellos is gazing into a crystal with an image of the four walking through the forest. It suddenly focuses on Lina. He looks into it intently with a smile and opens his slitted amethyst eyes* 

****

Xellos: Look Sarah - *We find a very pissy Hell Master sitting on Xell's lap looking into it also.* Is this what your trying to find? *Phibby glares at Xellos.* So much trouble over such a little thing… but not for long. But soon she'll forget… she'll forget everything. Just as soon as Gourry gives her my present. 

****

Phibrizo: As if he'll even remember it... with your luck he'll probably eat it himself... 

****

Xellos: Well if she does eat it than she'll forget everything... 

****

Phibrizo: Including you. 

****

Xellos: *Smiles. * Not if I can help it. *Puts Phibrizo in the lowered pit in the middle of the room and orders goblins to watch over him.* 

****

Phibrizo: When this is all over it will only be the choice of who to go after first... Jaime or Xellos.... *Grumbles darkly. * 

(Short part isn't it? ^_^ )


	10. Part 9: A Drugged Lina Is A Sleepy Lina

Part Nine 

* * *

****

Zelgadis: *Sighs, * I'm going to have a LONG talk with Jaime after this... 

Lina: *Cries out loudly with her stomachs growls, * I'm SOO HUNGRY!!! 

Gourry: *Pauses and then remembers the peach. * Oh yeah, here Lina - *Holds out the peach,* This is from - *Is cut off as Lina grabs it and scarfs it before he can even finish his sentence. * 

Zelgadis and Amelia: O___O 

Zelgadis: Anata wa baka!!! You don't even know where that came from!!! 

Lina: From Gourry... *Blinks, the looks worried, * Wasn't it...? 

Gourry: Uh-uh, *He shakes his head. * Xellos told me to - 

Lina: _XELLOS_?!?! *Groans. * Oh man... *Teeters, * I'm going to kill him... *Casts a wobbly ray wing and flies off... Well she tried valiantly to. * 

Zelgadis: *Flies after her and catches her as she her spell breaks and she falls towards the ground. * Lina! 

Lina: Everything's moving in a really weird way... *Her eyelids begin to close in drug induced exhaustion. * 

Zelgadis: She's been drugged - *Looks worried as Lina goes into unconsciousness. * 

Amelia: Xellos-san has gone far beyond cheating this time...


End file.
